"I'd say my story is more of the lost sheep...but it's mine nonetheless.I was reared in a wonderful Christian home. I was very comfortable in that world surrounded by Christian friends, family, church and even, my Christian school. But it soon turned into complacency and I started taking things into my own hands. At college I hung out with people I should've stayed away from and participated in activities I should never have even considered. As soon as I graduated from college, I was married. It only last 3 years and I was very much a part of that marriage ending in divorce.
Shortly after that, I married my husband Cary. We were both rebellious and far away from the Lord. On our wedding night, as Cary was sleeping next to me the sudden the realization of how far I had fallen overwhelmed me. I was so lost...that night I cried out to God, hoping He could and would forgive me for all the sin I had chosen to engulf myself in. I had my doubts but God is much bigger and much more gracious than we can ever imagine. So I surrendered my life to the Lord that night.
I woke up the next morning with hope but also knowing that I had just married a man who wanted nothing to do with God. Through my poor choices, I had alienated most of my friends and family, so I went to the one place I knew I could go to ... my Savior. My first prayer went something like this "Dear God, please let Cary want to go to church, any church" the very next day Cary looked at me nonchalantly and said " you know what, honey...I've been thinking...maybe we should start going to church". I thought "WOAH! This is amazing. So I continued praying for Cary and for us. It wasn't the next day, but one day I found Cary in the back of our house looking out over the fields that lay behind it. As I approached, I saw he had tears coming down his face. He looked at me and said, "I'm not going to fight Him anymore." I found later thatCary had gone to a basketball outreach from a local church at the age of 18 years old and had given his life to Christ. And yet he'd been running from Him ever since. I never knew...we hadn't talked about God. That night we dedicated our lives (and our marriage) to God.
Cary started to grow so fast my head was spinning. He couldn't get enough of the Word. I remember calling dad (who lived about a hour and a half a way) and saying, "Dad -- he's got so many questions," and Dad would come and sit and talk with Cary - no matter what time of the night it was. However, In the year that we were married, we found out that we would probably not have children naturally.
I remember one night, standing on the back of the porch with a blanket around my shoulders because of the chill, fighting with God. I secretly thought that this was His punishment for my sins....to be childless, yet to give me such a desire for children. I stood under those stars with a big hole in my heart. But just about that time, God was knitting a precious child in the womb of another on the other side of the world. And when He came to that child's heart, He dropped a stitch. That child was born with a hole in his heart that mirrored the one I had on the porch.
It shook my idea that I was being punished so, in my silly brain, I declared that, because Andre' was almost three when we got him, my punishment must be that I would never experience the baby years...those special bonding times with a newborn. How foolish I was...
Nine years later, we recieved a call from the woman who said she was looking through old files and came across our name. She felt God had laid us on her heart and she said that she had a child that was to be born in 3 months and she could find no one to take him. 2 1/2 month's later, I was in the birthing room, being a leg holder for Caleb's birth (his birth mom thought both of his mothers should be there) and as I watched him come into this world...I knew, once again, God's ways were so much better than ours. All my defenses fell and I realized that I had waiting for a punishment that had already been nailed to the cross...I had repented...and He had carried my burden.
All through this time, our life has been a joy of sharing with others the miracle of what God can do with the lowliest of low...we share our story wherever we go and travel to jails, churches. schools, fairs, festivals,....anyone who will have us about the love of Christ and His amazing grace.