Abbie (pictured) shares her thoughts when "things don't work out".
Hovering beneath Christian jargon and hiding our authentic God-given judgment
hides us from reality. Some days will be hard (like when you want to
console, or be consoled by, an ex), and some situations are plain
awkward (like seeing an old crush or seeing a new one with your old best
friend). The alternative, however, is to stuff our pain in statements like, “I
know God, so I shouldn’t be upset,” or “God always has a happy plan and future
for me, so I’ve just gotta suck it up and move on.” Truth never modeled such a
tale. To risk hurting one’s feelings, or risk handing over your real feelings,
will usually be hard. But if God is true and truly Lord over outcomes (including
feelings), we’re better off being authentically upset, heartbroken, and maybe
even awkward, rather than maturing a lie.
Scripture says His overarching will for our lives is holiness. But what
about when holiness doesn’t fix us or necessarily make us feel happy? And why is
it that holiness seems to happen more often, even, through the
likes of heartbreaks and breakups, than smooth-sailing life? Although
sometimes holiness involves happiness, other times it involves suffering,
even unfulfilled longing. However, the
challenging belief is that God is good and has His (and your) best interests in
Either God is good and for our good
and knows what He is about, or He doesn’t. Either pain and death are the end of
our stories, or they’re not. Successful dating should not just be
classified as those who “get hitched.” Successful dating, or “courtship,” or
life, that is, happen when a man and a woman are moved closer
to God. Even in courtships that break up, then, or unrequited love that never
requites, God’s hand is still initiating and making something new.
Sometimes God breaks up two good people with two good paths for no other reason than to draw us closer to Him.