What do we expect from our spouse?Men desire respect and women want to feel loved. Unfortunately, the expectations of what that looks like often become skewed and we find ourselves saying, “well, that’s great, but now I just want a little more.” We put conditions around our love based on what we receive.
What is conditional love? These are just a few examples of the “just a little more” we put on our spouses.• I will love you if you…• If you really loved me, you would…• Why can’t you be more like…
Jesus never talked about love being what you do for me, but what I can do for you. It’s about sacrifice, putting the needs of your spouse ahead of your own. It’s a love without condition. One of our “go to” passages of Scripture when counseling couples is I Corinthians 13:4-7. Yes, the “wedding passage!” Unfortunately, the instruction in that passage is often viewed as nice words without much thought to the meaning behind them. Read each attribute of love and think about how you express it to your spouse:
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and keeps no record of being wronged. Love does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Are you patient and kind? Are you jealous of your spouse? Do you always look at what your spouse can do for you, demanding your own way? Do you bring up the past and the “wrongs” your spouse has been guilty of? Do you give up hope and threaten divorce?
Everyone can have not just a good marriage, but a great one if we’re willing to put in the effort. That’s the premise
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