NAME CHANGING at Marriage

An amusing look from three perspectives

Joanna  Scott says:

Seems simple right? But women who change their name because they get married are accused of giving up their identity and jeopardizing their careers. However, the estimated one in 10 women who choose to keep their name, are faced with the problem that it might confuse the children and upset the natural order of things.

And while we consider this a woman’s problem, men get their fair share of flack too, being accused of all sorts of horrors from ‘owning’ their wives to seeing women as fundamentally inferior. The raging debate makes it clear that this issue means a lot. But dare I say it … it’s only a name. I’m getting married later this year. We’ve talked about it, and it’s clear it means a lot to my fiancé that I take his name. This is the same guy who will patiently discuss the minutiae of my career every day, who helps me celebrate when I get a bigger bonus than his and who sees me as an equal partner in every sense of the word.

And when it comes time for our sons and daughters to make a similar decision, I hope they’ll have the strength of character to have conviction in their own beliefs and forget what the bloggers say! Changing your
name (or keeping it) does not signify your position in the feminist debate. It’s trite to suggest it’s that simple.

Nigel Bowen says:

My wife decided to take my name when we married, and I don’t recall us ever having a discussion about it
If adopting my surname was meant to the first step in her submitting to my patriarchal authority and subsuming her identity in mine, I have to report things have not worked out as advertised – she has thus far failed to morph into a Stepford wife. Come to think of it, neither has any other woman I know who has taken her husband’s name.

Frankly, I don’t get the whole feminist outrage about surnames – it’s somehow letting the sisterhood down to hang onto the surname of your father (who you didn’t choose) rather than your husband (who you did)?
Now, if we’re going to talk about naming injustices, perhaps we should just wipe the slate clean and let everyone choose what to call themselves at any stage of their lives.

I say:

I was delighted to take my husband's name. Not only because the Bible says that "The two shall be one flesh", but because it gave me a sense of belonging to him, not as an object, but as one whom he would love and cherish. I had kept my single name as an unmarried girl, but now I was a married woman and together with my husband we were a new family unit.

What do you honestly feel about it?

COMMUNICATION

THREE 'L's. It sounds simple, but maybe there's more to it. So what are these three 'Ls'?

1. Listening:
Really listen to your other. Take in what's being said to you. So often we want to cut in and tell what we want them to hear before they have even finished what they are saying.

2. Laughter:
This is so important.It's widely known that laughter releases endorphins which in turn give a sense of well-being. That's something we could all do with, isn't it?

3. Love:
Don't forget those very important three little words...'I love you.'  Some people, usually men, have trouble with this. He loves his wife, but believes she already knows it. Ah, but those words mean a lot to a woman. Yes, love can be shown in many ways, but that piece of verbal communication is important. Conversely, those words without actions can be very empty. It's so much like faith. You can say you believe Jesus is the Son of God who died to save you from your sins, but if you don't follow through with reading His Word, the Bible and living a life that would please Him, then it doesn't mean much.

As with commitment. If a man says he loves a woman but doesn't want the commitment of marriage it's sad. The marriage vows sum up his love for her in this practical way. It's far more than signing a piece of paper, as the popular excuse goes, it's saying "I will love, honour and cherish you for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live." That is proving one's love.

Another huge plus for a true committed marriage is forgiveness. Such a willingness to forgive each other is a sign of maturity. Arguments happen, feelings are hurt And there can be wrongs on each side. But when one says they are sorry, and the hurt person says they are willing to forgive AND forget. This is a great step forward. Remember, God is willing to forgive our sins when we turn to Him, so why shouldn't we?

TEST DRIVE MARRIAGE?

It seems this is the current idea. Many couples believe they can only know if a marriage will work if they live together first.

I often view THE FIVE on Fox News channel where co-host, Andrea Tantaros, and five journalists and TV personalities air their views on every current topic imaginable. Andrea is also host on her own nationally syndicated radio show.

Andrea Tantaros gave her thoughts on remaining single until committing herself to the right marriage partner. She did not agree with the concept of 'try before you buy' and 'test drive'. It was refreshing to hear a young woman stand for her beliefs. She said too many men won't bother to go the extra step of marriage if they're already sleeping with their partner and they only view the commitment of the marriage bond as simply signing a meaningless piece of paper. She also quoted statistics that said many of those who don't bother with marriage will leave their partner looking for fresh experiences.

Co-Host of  THE FIVE hit show

 The Washington Times has called her "the most pragmatic personality on 'The Five'... who has already had a lifetime of experience despite only being in her 30s. Andrea's calm, yet reasoned personality mixed with a quick tongue and biting sense of humor make her a powerful presence."

Tantaros has hard-won experience in radio, as a syndicated columnist for the NY Daily News, on campaigns and on Capitol Hill. In her career she has served in senior communications roles on a number of high-profile political campaigns. Tantaros is also credited with helping former National Republican Congressional Committee Chairman Thomas Reynolds secure a narrow re-election victory during the scandal-plagued 2006 election cycle.

Prior to that, Tantaros worked on Capitol Hill where she served as press secretary to Republican leadership in the U.S. House of Representatives. Before Fox News recruited her, Tantaros served as a vice president at a public affairs firm in Manhattan where she advised Fortune 500 corporations on crisis management and media strategy.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/personalities/andrea-tantaros/bio/#s=r-z#ixzz2ZSj987EK

New Yorker Marries Australian Aborigine

I loved this real life story of two amazing people. As the
back cover explains:

A high-flying Wall Street career woman looking for something more in her life quits her job and goes bush - to outback Australia.

One New Year's Eve in Kalgoorlie a chance meeting with a charismatic Aboriginal leader lights a spark that will change the course of her life forever.

After a whirlwind long-distance courtship, they marry in a desert creek bed and she spends her wedding night in an outback cave on a mountain, the first of many changes the New Yorker will have to face. The next is her husband's unique wedding gift, a tour of the country and its people - an unforgettable journey of discovery that marks the beginning of Diana Williams new life.

This is an extraordinary story of a woman who followed her heart and discovered a new country and culture, the realities of a 'mixed marriage', the joy of an unexpected child - and a love that crossed boundaries.

HORIZON is WHERE HEAVEN and EARTH MEET is a powerful, inspiring and timely love story.

This book was published by BANTAM a few years ago. I hope you can find it in a bookshop somewhere.

FOSTER CHILD

"As you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me." Matthew 25:40

This small child with a painful skin disease spent the first three years of her life within the walls of a children's hospital. 

One Sunday, Pat Rich heard her pastor preach on being a servant. He said, 'Sometimes God wants us to do a special job for Him - a job no one else would do.' She felt this was a direct message from God and knew that in taking little Lou, she would be doing something special for Jesus.

At the time, Pat was a mother of eight with five children still at home. And in the eleven brief weeks she lived with the Rich family, Lou looked on Pat as 'Mum'. The family realized Lou had a short life expectancy, but were determined to show her the love of Jesus and make her life as happy  as they could.

On the other hand, this meant the necessary daily bathing of her seeping sores, causing her distress, and then bandaging her limbs. They dressed her in the prettiest clothes making Lou feel special, and even more, loved for simply who she was. Pat's children had a big part to play in this. They wheeled her around outside in her stroller, introducing her to the big world outside that she had never known. They loved her and cared for her and Lou responded. For the first time, her bubbly personality asserted itself. Everyone who met her grew fond of this little mite.

Pat wrote her touching story and reveals she believes Lou was God's special little messenger to her own family. Each of her children had been blessed to be able to minister to this dear child in their own way. She will live in their hearts forever.

What a beautiful, inspirational story of strong, lasting love given in Jesus' name.