MARRIAGE BUILT on the ROCK

Uluru, Northern Territory

My friend, Nolene, shares:

I first met Garry on a Christian

Travel coach tour through Central Australia and Queensland.  My first impressions of Garry were not very favourable - I thought he was loud and unruly and not my type!   

However, after he gave a short devotion around the campfire one night I saw a different side to him.   He was the life of the party on the coach and kept us all entertained with his humour throughout our 3 week trip.  We didn’t start dating until after the Tour Reunion, when I finally had the courage to invite him to a Rotaract Dinner/Dance - we went together and the rest, as they say, is history.  But it wasn’t all plain sailing as we did have a split after about 18 months of dating.  I questioned where our relationship was heading and, at that point, Garry wasn’t ready to make a commitment, so we went our separate ways.  After a month of praying and questioning God I decided to write a letter to Garry asking if we could start over again.  Right then he was away on holiday in Tasmania, but when he rang home and was told that there was a letter waiting for him from me, he says he instinctively knew what was in it without having to read it.  He went to a picturesque mountain area to pray for God’s guidance.   

When he returned to Sydney we arranged to meet up that same day.  We went for a drive into the country and discussed what God’s plans might be for our future.  We stopped at a lookout and sat in the car and prayed together as a couple, for the first time.  

In our time apart, God had taught us that we needed to make Him the centre of our relationship and, to this very day, we have continued to read His Word and pray together every day.

After 34 years we returned to Uluru on a road trip around Australia with our car and caravan.  We could give thanks to God for bringing us together and blessing us with a strong marriage built on a firm foundation - the Lord Jesus Christ, a comfortable home, two wonderful Christian children who are serving the Lord with their spouses, and two adorable Grandchildren.

COMMUNICATION

THREE 'L's. It sounds simple, but maybe there's more to it. So what are these three 'Ls'?

1. Listening:
Really listen to your other. Take in what's being said to you. So often we want to cut in and tell what we want them to hear before they have even finished what they are saying.

2. Laughter:
This is so important.It's widely known that laughter releases endorphins which in turn give a sense of well-being. That's something we could all do with, isn't it?

3. Love:
Don't forget those very important three little words...'I love you.'  Some people, usually men, have trouble with this. He loves his wife, but believes she already knows it. Ah, but those words mean a lot to a woman. Yes, love can be shown in many ways, but that piece of verbal communication is important. Conversely, those words without actions can be very empty. It's so much like faith. You can say you believe Jesus is the Son of God who died to save you from your sins, but if you don't follow through with reading His Word, the Bible and living a life that would please Him, then it doesn't mean much.

As with commitment. If a man says he loves a woman but doesn't want the commitment of marriage it's sad. The marriage vows sum up his love for her in this practical way. It's far more than signing a piece of paper, as the popular excuse goes, it's saying "I will love, honour and cherish you for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live." That is proving one's love.

Another huge plus for a true committed marriage is forgiveness. Such a willingness to forgive each other is a sign of maturity. Arguments happen, feelings are hurt And there can be wrongs on each side. But when one says they are sorry, and the hurt person says they are willing to forgive AND forget. This is a great step forward. Remember, God is willing to forgive our sins when we turn to Him, so why shouldn't we?

BRIDES and BRIDESMAIDS

"Always a bridesmaid, never a bride."
So the saying goes, But it was never true with my bridesmaids. Every one of them married fine Christian men.

This Victorian era painting is called, "The Reluctant Bride". Her bridesmaids seem to be comforting her and assuring her that she'll live happily ever after.

Somehow I don't think they convinced her. And I can't help but wonder why she seems so uneasy about her coming marriage. It looks to be only an hour or so away because she is already dressed, and the young girl is trying on her bridal headgear. And that is usually made of fresh flowers.

Was the marriage arranged? Was it a case of pre-wedding jitters? Whatever the case, I was touched at the sad expression on her face. Marriage is supposed to be a uniting of two souls to become one flesh as the Bible states so beautifully. In those days marriages were often forced upon young girls, and this is so in many cultures today.

If this were true in this young girl's situation, I would counsel her to ask God to give her the grace to love and honour her husband with her whole heart and mind and soul. Love is not just a feeling. Feelings come and go. Marriage is a commitment and even if pushed upon a young woman, if she makes up her mind to love her husband, it will only cement their relationship. "Love begets love" is a truism. And asking the Lord Jesus to come into her new life with her husband will both comfort and strengthen her resolve.