The MEANING of MARRIAGE

 Tim and Kathy Keller have been married for many years and have found the secret many wish for. 

“A man shall leave his father and 
mother and be united to his wife, 
and the two will become one flesh. 
This is a profound mystery.” -
Ephesians 5:31-32

Within this Christian vision for marriage, here’s what it means to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating, and to say, “I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at you and say, ‘I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of it on earth, now look at you!’ ” Each spouse should see the great thing that Jesus is doing in the life of their mate through the Word, the gospel. 

My wife, Kathy, often says that most people, when they are looking for a spouse, are looking for a finished statue when they should be looking for a wonderful block of marble. Not so you can create the kind of person you want, but rather because you see what kind of person Jesus is making. When Michelangelo was asked how he carved his magnificent David, his reply is reputed to have been, “I looked inside the marble and just took away the bits that weren’t David.” When looking for a marriage partner, each must be able to look inside the other and see what God is doing and be excited about being part of the process of liberating the emerging “new you.”

This is by no means a naïve, romanticized approach—rather it is brutally realistic. In this view of marriage, each person says to the other, “I see all your flaws, imperfections, weaknesses, dependencies. But underneath them all I see growing the person God wants you to be.” This is radically different from the search for “compatibility.” As we have seen, researchers have discovered that this term means we are looking for a partner who accepts us just as we are. This is the very opposite of that! The search for an ideal mate is a hopeless quest. This is also a radically different approach from the cynical or cold method of finding a spouse who can just deliver social status, financial security, or great sex.

If you don’t see your mate’s deep flaws and weaknesses and dependencies, you’re not even in the game.  But if you don’t get excited about the person your spouse has already grown into and will become, you aren’t tapping in to the power of marriage as spiritual friendship.  The goal is to see something absolutely ravishing that God is making of the beloved.  You see even now flashes of glory.  You want to help your spouse become the person God wants him or her to be.

When two Christians who fully understand this stand before the minister all decked out in their wedding finery, they realize they’re not just playing dress-up.  What they’re saying is that someday they are going to be standing not before the minister, but before the Lord.  And they will turn to see each other without spot and blemish.  And they hope to hear God say, “Well done, good and faithful servants.  Over the years you have lifted one another up to me.  You sacrificed for one another.  You held one another up with prayer and with thanksgiving.  You confronted each other.  You rebuked each other.  You hugged and you loved each other and continually pushed each other toward me.  And now look at you.  You’re radiant.”

Tim has written many books on this subject and you will find them on AMAZON.COM

HUSBAND and WIFE TEAM

Meet Cheryl and Mel Hoddes. This husband and wife team up to write Christian medical romance and suspense novels. The way they first met really intrigued me.

"You're a doctor?" Cheryl leaned toward Mel and raised her voice to be heard over the din of restaurant diners. "You could help me paralyze someone, then, couldn't you?"
Mel stared at her with some trepidation. This was the "nice young lady" his pastor, wanted him to meet?
"I only want to paralyze him temporarily, of course," Cheryl continued.

Mel glanced toward the nearest exit.

"I'd better explain myself," she said with a smile. "I write novels. I'm doing research for a book."

Ah, interesting. He relaxed slightly and gave her all the information she needed in good, graphic detail. He couldn't understand why she only ate half a slice of pizza the whole evening.

This was Mel's introduction into Cheryl's world of fiction. It was Cheryl's introduction into the life of an emergency room physician. They were both fascinated. A year and a half later, they were married.

 

 The fascination grew as Mel downloaded at the end of his workday — never betraying patient confidentiality. Cheryl's imagination took over, and together they generated ideas for a completely new story, with a completely new novel. With Mel's medical input, encouragement and help with plotting, and Cheryl's writing skills gleaned over 13 years, they developed their first ER-style novel.Cheryl is also a Christy Award -Winning author

The Hoddes (pronounced Hoddees) have loved working together ever since that first meeting. Cheryl has been a professional writer for 19 years now. Mel is a board-certified ER physician with a degree in osteopathy. They work together under the pen name of Hannah Alexander.

KEEPING FAITH is their latest novel

LOVE LANGUAGES

According to author, Gary Chapman,  there are five of them. He says to understand them is the secret to love that lasts.

Sounds extremely helpful doesn't it?

Anything that promotes long-lasting love is a big plus!

How wonderful to reach your golden years and find that love has not only lasted but has grown deeper and more beautiful.

Find on amazon.com

What are these five different languages?

Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

WORDS of AFFIRMATION

A character with this love language will show love--and receive love--by saying it out loud. This character won't 'feel' loved unless the other person says it, writes it as a note, or expresses love via some form of words.

 

QUALITY TIME

This is the character (typically female) that is always at the other for 'spending time with me'. They need eye-to-eye contact.

 

RECEIVING GIFTS

This one is easy to pick ... they never show up at a party or dinner without something in hand, usually gift wrapped. A character whose love language is gifts will keep mementos, and delights in surprising the other person with gifts. 

ACTS of SERVICE
She is the first to offer to clean up after a church pot luck. He has changed the oil in her car faithfully for 20 years and held down a steady job...because he loves her.

 PHYSICAL TOUCH
This is apparently the most common love language to men, usually expressed through sex or frequent touch--a hand to a shoulder, or sitting close on the couch. 
PROBLEM: The wife who just wants a hug vs. the husband who always buys flowers. 

 
 

MISSIONARY KIDS MAKE MUSIC TOGETHER

Award-winning novelist and missions journalist Jeanette Windle shares her unusual story.

My husband Marty and I are both missionary kids raised in Latin America. Though my parents were missionaries in Colombia's Amazon guerrilla zones, my husband reached adolescence in the Bolivian Andes.

We first met in Bible college (Canada), and college we attended was extremely conservative regarding interaction between opposite genders, even classroom and dining-hall seating strictly segregated. So male and female of the human species had little opportunity to strike up an acquaintance. The only exception being ministry outreach assignments. Most of the Latin American missionary kids and foreign students signed up for the same Spanish-language outreach in Calgary, Alberta.

For this Colombian MK fresh from the tropics and in the throes of culture—and weather—shock (I'd ever experienced that white stuff called snow, much less at 40 degrees below zero!), that Spanish outreach ministry and its team members became a home—and family—away from home. Including a certain Montana-born, Bolivia-raised missionary kid one year ahead of me in Bible college. My husband insists he remembers vividly my expressed opinions that I would never consider marrying a "gringo" (North American foreigner), much less a blonde-haired, blue-eyed one, since growing up in Latin America had imprinted "tall, dark, and suave" as my idea of handsome. He on the other hand was convinced I was destined to be his wife from the day we'd discovered that God had laid on both our hearts during high school the same life verse (Philippians 1:6). 

Somehow by my second year, he'd changed my mind that a blonde-haired, blue-eyed Montana boy was any less romantic than those guitar-strumming, petal-strewing Antonio Bandera-lookalikes who serenaded outside my bedroom shutters back in Colombia's guerrilla zones (No joke! My father had three teenage daughters at once, and he used to threaten violence to the town youth for any serenading after midnight).  I always add the caveat that I didn't really marry a "gringo", since Marty too is a Spanish-
fluent MK and plays a rather romantic guitar himself!


That was going on thirty-three years ago.  Since then we've 
raised four kids, traveled in ministry through more than thirty countries on five continents. 

CONGO DAWN    
The smallest flame shines brightest against the darkest night

2013 Golden Scroll Novel of the Year

 If absolute power breeds absolute corruption, what happens when a multinational corporation with unlimited funds hires on a private military company with unbridled power? Especially in a Congolese rainforest where governmental accountability is only too cheaply for sale and the ultimate conflict mineral is up for grabs. 

Thanks Jeanette. I cannot wait to begin reading this suspense filled story myself.

SIGNED SEALED DELIVERED - Historical Romance

How could she believe in her future when she couldn't escape her past?

The completely updated version of my historical romance, Signed Sealed Delivered will be on AMAZON Kindle by mid morning. Oct 4.

Years ago when I studied art at Sydney's National 
Art School I discovered its previous occupants were not as carefree as we art students. It was known as the Darlinghurst Gaol. Great sandstone buildings fanned out from a central roundhouse which once served as a chapel. That's where I first wondered about its many sad stories, especially if one was truly innocent. I asked myself if any Christians incarcerated there had given up hope.


The cast of characters whose lives entwine with governess Megan Trevallyn's destiny follows:
Cornelia Cantrell, scheming mistress of the Mayfair Mansion; Captain Cantrell, her love; Lieutenant John Stafford, her nemesis; Ezra Montefiore, an ardent suitor; and her Christian mentor, Caroline Chisholm, the bane of all who practice excessive adherence to rules and regulations of the new colony.

< The gates of Darlinghurst Gaol today

As Book I of the Watermark Women Trilogy it stands alone, but for readers who are waiting for the next two books in the series, I have hopes of announcing a decision  shortly.

BLACK & BLUE SARI - Loss of a dream

Kamal Dhillon is an author, an inspirational speaker and a domestic violence counselor. Her book, Black & Blue Sari, is a harrowing autobiography of the abuse and torment she suffered through by the hands of her husband after her marriage. Her story and message is one that will affect you, disturb you, enrage you and will open your eyes to the reality and severity of domestic violence.

After an arranged marriage into an influential and wealthy family, the life of a young South Asian girl is drastically changed for the worse. Married in her late teens into a very wealthy and influential family, Kamal dreamed of a life as a princess. This dream soon faded and Kamal realized the harsh reality of her new life.  

With promises of a fairy tale life echoing in her ears, she is thrown into a world of abuse, violence and torture. Afraid for the lives of her family and children, she constantly looked death in the face but survived to tell her story. She found real peace in her life when she accepted Jesus as her Lord and Saviour.
                                                      
 
Black and Blue Sari is a true story about the cost of leaving a toxic relationship and how the transition can empower you and those around you. 

Domestic violence is an epidemic that leaves no community unaffected; one in every four women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. 

For those who have found their dreams crashing around them, her book, BLACK & BLUE SARI will be both an eye-opener and of real comfort.

Her book can be purchased at AMAZON.COM

RECIPE for HAPPINESS

In our local paper I read about a couple who had been married for many years and had just celebrated their wedding anniversary.

Mr Leo Antich had some advice for young couples. He said, The key to a successful relationship is to understand each other and be able to compromise.

That sounded like some very wise words. In my kitchen I have a plaque with similar thoughts and I'd like to share it with you:

 RECIPE  FOR  HAPPINESS

Two heaping cups of Patience,  One heartful of Love, Two handfuls of Generosity,

One headful of Understanding , and a dash of Humour.

Sprinkle with Kindness, Add plenty of Faith and mix well.

Spread over a Period of a Lifetime and serve to everyone you meet.

I'd like to add this saying: A married relationship can be like a triangle. The two base points are man and wife, with God at the top. The closer each comes to God the closer they come to each other.