Ken and Pam were like typical young marrieds.
Then their children were born. They will take up their story.
That’s when our relationship began to develop cracks. Ken’s seminary classes
and study groups and Pam’s work schedule, together with balancing the needs of a
4 and 2 year old led us further away from one another (when we were together, it
was usually arguing). We found a short term solution when we discovered a
seminary in Phoenix with evening classes and a more stable lifestyle for our
Just when we were starting to feel like our relationship was on solid
ground, Pam's 22 year old sister, her brother-in-law and sister-in-law were killed in a car accident in Indiana. A year
after Jen’s death, Pam was severely depressed and Ken was doing
everything he could to keep the family together while working a full time job
and going to seminary at night.
A year later, we moved to San Diego. We would love to say it
was smooth sailing from that point on but there were still many obstacles to
overcome. It was our covenant before God and our tenacious commitment to
accountability with other couples that we were able to stay in the ring! We
“survived” teenage children (our son decided to prove he was not a Pastor’s kid
– he’s a High School Pastor today), job challenges and aging parents.
What made it work for us? It’s the understanding that marriage is a covenant
and not a contract – it’s a personal promise made before God, family and
friends. If you break that promise, it’s so much more than a contract ripped
up – it’s an attack on personal integrity and family destroyed!
Through the years, we’ve grown to understand what it means to have a true
best friend, to know what the other is thinking. We laugh, we cry, we work hard and play hard, and at
the end of the day, we reflect on how blessed we are just to have stuck like
THAT is the reason we are passionate about marriage – we made it and we know
what it feels like! If there is one wish we have for you – it’s that YOU make
Wonderful advice from a couple who have proved their covenant with God worked.
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