MARRIAGE REBRANDED - Tyler Ward

Celebrating 50 years of Marriage

What about this modern idea of happily ever
after? Does it have a place or do we abandon the
idea altogether to embrace the refining fire of
marriage?
Not at all. Happiness is a very real result of a healthy marriage. Even modern social research
 shows that marriage historically offers more
happiness than singleness or divorce.

However,.happiness is not the primary goal of
your marriage. Becoming more beautiful by
becoming your best self—more loving, joyful,
peaceful, patient, kind, faithful, gentle,
 self-controlled—is the goal.

Marriage—like fire—can be an all-consuming and potentially painful substance. But also like
a fire, it can refine us. And like Michelangelos's chisel liberating the figures inside of a rock, 
marriage is a tool that the Divine uses to make us beautiful.

Author Tyler Ward say goes on to say:
I know that marriage can be one of the more challenging things we experience in life. And I know that at times, it demands far more than we feel we can give. I know there are moments when walking away seems like the only sane and rational thing to do. Yet I also know that marriage multiplies what we can become—both as individuals and as couples.
Marriage, even though it will introduce us to some of life’s most arduous moments, has brilliant intentions in mind. It’s unapologetically interested in chipping away at our dysfunctional thoughts, patterns, and postures in life and inviting us—and our spouses—to become the best version of ourselves.

When we remember this brilliant intention to liberate us—the beautiful statues trapped within our own mess—we begin to see a hopeful view of the relationship, even in its darkest times.

This vision of marriage takes the expectation off of our spouses to make us happy and recreates the expectation that our marriage exists to help us grow.  It turns our focus from personal fulfillment to mutual personal development.

*This is an excerpt of Marriage Rebranded: Modern Misconceptions & the Unnatural Art of Loving Another Person. by Tyler Ward

HAPPILY EVER AFTER

George & Rita - Many years of happy marriage

Michaelangelo used the friction between his chisel and the rock to chip away—piece by piece—at stone and marble. Michelangelo didn’t sculpt like other sculptors. No, he didn’t believe he was creating something from nothing. Instead, he believed his slow, deliberate chiseling actually liberated what was already inside of the stone. He saw beautiful figures beneath the surface and considered it his responsibility as an artist to simply set them free.

Two years of chiseling later, Michelangelo had set David free—and in the process, he sculpted this unlovely piece of rock into one of history’s most renowned pieces of art.

Tyler Ward, author of  "Marriage Rebranded: Modern Misconceptions and the Unatural Art of Loving Another Person", goes on to say:

I think there’s more truth about marriage in this story than in most of our modern ideas about relationships. Marriage isn’t, in fact, our gateway to happily ever after. It’s more like a chisel in Divine hands. And though there’s plenty of friction involved, it’s designed to chip away at all the dysfunction in our lives and free the beautiful statues inside.

Interestingly, the Bible seems to agree with this picture that Michelangelo’s carving philosophy offers us. In fact, if you’re ever wondering who you can blame for this chiseling sensation in your marriage, Adam—the first human in the Bible—is your guy.

It all started when the first human on earth decided to name his wife after a hazardous chemical reaction. After having just been introduced to the only other human being on earth, he says, “She shall be called ishshah—woman, because she was taken out of ish—man.”

Ish and ishshah. I assume that though they have a certain ring to them, these won’t be topping your list of names for future kids. Even so, they paint a picture about marriage that answers many of our modern questions.
To start, both words are derived from the root word and Hebrew character esh, which means fire.
This means that the original word picture we have for the relationship between a man and a woman is an all-consuming, tireless-in-nature, potentially hazard-creating fire. And though this picture lends itself to the modern concept of heated romance or passionate love, the Bible consistently points to a different purpose of fire.

Fire happens to be one of the Bible’s primary metaphors for purification and personal development.

 It would seem that the relationship between two spouses—fire—as depicted by biblical accounts, is a source of personal refinement, designed to play a significant role in one’s process of growth and maturity. But hang with me—the biblical picture gets better.
In the New Testament, Paul the apostle goes on to compare love in marriage to the love Jesus showed humanity. He says:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her [literally, purify her internally by the reformation of her soul], having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, . . . having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

 Tyler Ward's helpful extract from his book will be continued in a week's time.