|Celebrating 50 years of Marriage|
after? Does it have a place or do we abandon the
idea altogether to embrace the refining fire of
Not at all. Happiness is a very real result of a healthy marriage. Even modern social research
shows that marriage historically offers more
happiness than singleness or divorce.
However,.happiness is not the primary goal of
your marriage. Becoming more beautiful by
becoming your best self—more loving, joyful,
peaceful, patient, kind, faithful, gentle,
self-controlled—is the goal.
Marriage—like fire—can be an all-consuming and potentially painful substance. But also like
a fire, it can refine us. And like Michelangelos's chisel liberating the figures inside of a rock,
marriage is a tool that the Divine uses to make us beautiful.
Author Tyler Ward say goes on to say:
I know that marriage can be one of the more challenging things we experience in life. And I know that at times, it demands far more than we feel we can give. I know there are moments when walking away seems like the only sane and rational thing to do. Yet I also know that marriage multiplies what we can become—both as individuals and as couples.
Marriage, even though it will introduce us to some of life’s most arduous moments, has brilliant intentions in mind. It’s unapologetically interested in chipping away at our dysfunctional thoughts, patterns, and postures in life and inviting us—and our spouses—to become the best version of ourselves.
When we remember this brilliant intention to liberate us—the beautiful statues trapped within our own mess—we begin to see a hopeful view of the relationship, even in its darkest times.
This vision of marriage takes the expectation off of our spouses to make us happy and recreates the expectation that our marriage exists to help us grow. It turns our focus from personal fulfillment to mutual personal development.
*This is an excerpt of Marriage Rebranded: Modern Misconceptions & the Unnatural Art of Loving Another Person. by Tyler Ward