DO I REALLY KNOW MY SPOUSE?

Is there something I should know?                         

Is he/she doing something behind my back?  
Or living a double life, married to someone in 
another part of the world. It is not uncommon for
a married husband to keep a mistress in other
countries or cities where they travel for business.

It also happens to wives who feel neglected. They make take on a "lover".
Take a few minutes to ask yourself these questions:


1. What makes he or she feel loved?  ( quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts and acts of service).

2. What is his or hers favorite hobby?  Favorite color?  Favorite food?

3. What makes him or her laugh?

This week, why not take some time to nurture your relationship.  How?

1. Look into your spouse’s eyes when listening.
2. Holding hands is a simple way to show love.
3. Schedule a date night and do something that does not include discussing the finances.
4. Give one compliment (or more) every day.
5. Pray for wisdom. God wants His children to have happy marriages.

 Remember: It's worth every effort to heal and mend a marriage in danger of breaking up.

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Is Attraction Enough?

When that initial attraction to the opposite sex  happens to you ahead into a relationship without weighing up whether this person may be attracted to you for very different reasons?

Women have an inbuilt desire to be loved. Men have a natural desire for sex. And it doesn't always figure these two natural longings will work in a long term relationship. That's sad.

Does a woman wholly give of herself because she believes the one she is attracted to feels the same way about her?  Unfortunately that is true in so many women's minds. They want something so badly they believe it must be reciprocated, because the object of her love must feel her love so much, he in turn, will love her. Sadly he may tire of this and move on to another conquest. Her romance has ended and she is left alone...again.

Romance. Attraction. Desire. But without respect for the others' feelings, care for their well being, and a willingness to put her needs first, that relationship will be temporary at best.

Enjoy dating. Have fun. But keep yourself pure. An old-fashioned word? Sure is, but building a lasting relationship based on sex alone means no commitment, no ties, and the freedom to leave whenever a new attraction hits. And a broken heart.

Look at these wise words:  "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

Ask God to guide you into a true and lasting relationship. But first ask Him to forgive your sins and thank Jesus, His Son, who died to take the penalty for them to give you inner peace and to bring you to heaven when you die. God is Love.


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God Introduced Them

Nadege and Joshua still can't figure out how God "accidently" introduced them.

Nadege is a French girl who spent four years in London then returned home. But with her drinking problem she decided to return to writing to help her out of ever the present loneliness and depression. In researching names for her characters she came across "Joshua" and found its meaning. Salvation.

One lunch hour before her computer, a singles meeting app popped up. She says she was over looking for a boyfriend at that stage because most guys had let her down. But the name of the person was ...Joshua. She smiled. Curious, she looked him up and discovered he lived in the US! That puzzled her because she was only registered in Paris.

However, Nadege sent him a basic message like "How is it in California?" Later on he answered and then they sent daily messages to each other. But when he told about his family etc, she doubted it could be true and thought maybe one of her friends was joking with her. But then through their continuing friendship on Skype she realized he was genuine.

Joshua shared with her that he was 'born again'. She didn't know what that meant because she was raised as a Catholic. They began reading the Bible together and he explained that Jesus was the living Lord who died for us, taking the penalty for our sins. And that we needed to have a personal belief in Him and accept Him as Lord of our life. Nadege saw her need of a Savior and committed her life to Jesus. Joshua asked her to marry him and they were married in Paris.

Now five years later and living in America, Nadege adds, "God has blessed us with three amazing children and we both, in the short time we were married, have gone through trials and hard times, but also amazing moments, and I know that if it wasn't for Jesus being the anchor of our lives and marriage, we might have given up on each other, but we never did and never will. Our Christian faith has made us stronger."

Thanks for sharing your amazing story with us Nadege.   
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Fiction Full of Grace

Vanetta Chapman writes Amish novels and in her own words it is:

 FICTION FULL of GRACE

She says she sometimes writes details of her own life into her stories.

"At 34, I was a single mom and my life was far from perfect. I had a good job but few friends and no love interests. I wasn’t sure about God’s plan for me. But God's Plans are often different to our plans. And He can bring victory out of the most dire of consequences. By the time I was 36, I had met and married Bob. We’ve been married 15 years now, and we’re both good friends and soul mates. I could never have envisioned that at 34. The last 15 years have been fraught with both good times (college graduations, promotions, and special family trips) and bad times (dread diseases, financial issues and family
hardships).

So what of this imperfect life? If I could speak to that 34 year old I used to be, I’d tell her a few things.

• Hold on to your faith.

• Trust in God’s provision.

• Believe in a Holy providence.

 sometimes as women we convince ourselves we have to go it alone, that we need to be strong enough to do things all by ourselves. And sometimes that might be true. But more often, there are friends just waiting to be found and a path, that God has ordained, right around the corner."

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us Vanetta 

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Independent Single

Elizabeth Camden was exactly that...for a while. She can share her story in her own words.

I married relatively late in life, which turned out to be an odd kind of blessing. I had gotten very good at leading a solo life, and although I was not particularly content being alone, I had become reconciled to it. Then when I was in my mid-thirties and just a few weeks after buying my first house, I met the man I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. My years as a single woman taught me many things. I learned to be independent and resilient. I learned how to manage my investments, earn and save enough money to have investments, mow my own lawn, fix the rickety appliances in my sixty-year old house, and spend the holidays on my own when travel to family was not possible. Most importantly, it taught me never to take my husband for granted. I give daily thanks for the blessing of being able to share a life with my favorite person on the planet.

* A research librarian and associate professor, Elizabeth Camden has a master’s in history from the University of Virginia and a master’s in library science from Indiana University. She has published several articles for academic publications and is the author of four nonfiction history books. Her ongoing fascination with history and love of literature have led her to write inspirational fiction. Elizabeth lives with her husband in central Florida.

She has written several books and historical romances are readers' favorites.

Thank you for sharing with us Elizabeth.

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Mark Twain on Marriage

Who knew writer Mark Twain was such a romantic? Here's his take on marriage:

A marriage makes of two fractional lives a whole; it gives two purposeless lives a work, and doubles the strength of each to perform it; it gives to questioning natures a reason for living and something to live for; it will give new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth and a new mystery to life.

And here's a modern translation of a message to wives from the Bible:

"Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God will be captivated by your life... 
What matters is not your outer appearance, but your inner disposition. Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead bless - that's your job, to bless. You'll be a blessing and also receive a blessing." (IPeter 3: 1-9. The Message)

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WHY PRAY TOGETHER?

My husband and I pray together most mornings. It has always been a great time to ask God about things that concern us both.

Here are some helpful reminders: 

Care deeply for one another. And learn to see things from the other's point of view.
Remember that marriage isn’t a competition! When you disagree, collaborate to find a solution that is the best for both of you.

Have fun! Don’t let your relationship become stale. 
Forgive one another, because we aren’t perfect. 
PRAY with and for one another. (And don’t pray that God will change your spouse, but that God will bless your spouse!) Prayer smooths out life’s bumps, turns conflict into resolution, and brings back that “loving feeling!”
When you pray for your spouse: You think about him/her more throughout your day.
If as a couple you are struggling, your heart will soften towards your spouse.
(James 5:16 – Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.)

When you pray together:

• You’re on the same level before a Holy God.
• Prayer unlocks communication between the two of you. If you can unlock the deepest parts of your heart to God, you’re free to do the same with your spouse.

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